Settling In

 I'm all moved but the cost was high. I had some immediate health issues during the struggle which caused me to vacate quickly and I had to leave a lot of valuable necessary items behind but I'm honestly trying to look at it as just a fresh start - things can be replaced. That building was sick and I'm glad to leave when we did - not a minute too soon. I'm barely seven months out from a massive surgery (November 29th I lost a kidney and several more inches of my already short, mostly ruined bowel) I was totally not recovered enough for a move of that scale and that horrible woman knew that - her lofty Airbnb dreams outweighed my health risks though so it is what it is 🤷🏻‍♀️

I never realized how poor the air quality was until my first evening here and I wasn't falling asleep at my desk at 7:30PM, also my son hasn't asked for Tylenol since we got out of there - the headaches stopped immediately. To be fair - the young Israeli med student who'd lived upstairs during the pandemic told us that the place was already unhealthy and was rapidly declining. He warned us that the walls were full of mold and the air was really not safe. 

Of course, it's worse now with the new owner woman using all those leather and jewelry chemicals with no ventilation.  It also doesn't hurt that there were barely any windows in the whole damp brick apartment and absolutely no insulation in the entire back half. The bathroom had no ventilation (or windows) so shower moisture just built and built - there was an air circulator vent system thing that went through the rooms but it was broken before we moved in and was never repaired. 

I'm done though, I'm safe and even if I did lose a few items at least it's finally over with. There's no fear that I'll be tossed into the street at a whim (which is exactly what happened) because some person with zero compassion for local issues buys the building and just dumps everyone - this new place is solid. The landlords have held onto this place for decades, and there are no plans to sell anytime soon. 

It's a far nicer neighborhood too - I don't fall asleep at night to what may or may not be gunshots, there are no sex workers fighting under my back door, and I haven't had to ask a single unhoused intoxicated person for permission to use my own front door. Instead of police sirens every three minutes I heard only one fire truck on the highway out back all last night! 

Yesterday I went for a walk with my son and a pretty neighbor lady cheerfully waved to us, do y'all realize how long it's been since I've walked on my own block without fear of looking at the faces of the people nearby? I honestly felt a similar wave go through me as when I left an abusive ex and felt the relief of choosing my own clothes that day, wearing the lipstick I liked, etc. It was just ... I was waiting for the swear words and mumbled threats and they never came. There are deer that come and graze in my yard and my new neighbors feed and love them!

So I'm very injured and unpacking is going much slower than I would have preferred but I'm safe and I'm warm and there's light and joy all around me. My building is filled with the smells of an international market - foods from all over the world have found their home here. On Canada Day there was a big community picnic in the back lot - people just enjoying their neighbors!

I'm at peace, so far I'm in a good place. I'm sure some of the shine will be off after I've been here a little while but for now, I am absolutely in a good place and I really think I could get used to it pretty quickly!