Heart Songs: "Mocha Drenched Fantasies"

Sipping her coffee and absently gazing out the window, she could hear the hum of life around her—the buzz of these wonderful, unique beings who were completely oblivious to her and her inner awakening.

The radio droned softly from the kitchen: "...every now and then I fall apart, and I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ever..."

Swirling the cup absentmindedly, the sweet, warm liquid almost breaching the rim, her eyes fell upon a pretty young couple touching hands, the bright-eyed girl gazing up at her lover in the afternoon sun. She wasn't sure if the girl was really there or just a vision from the past—one of her past selves innocently and hungrily reaching for that spark that would one day make her whole.

"And I need you more than ever and if you only hold me tight..."

As she watched the girl playfully tug at her lover's waistband, she began to fade into herself, only half-aware of the busy coffee shop. Her mocha-scented daydreams spread around her like the rich cream in her cooling cup.

"We'll be holding on forever and we'll only be making it right..."

For so many years, she had accepted her fate as the other half—the milk in the tea, the bottle-washer extraordinaire. For so many years, she had complacently let her life pass her by. She had told herself that it was enough, that she was happy, that it had happened, and that she belonged. Through some of those years, she even began to believe that she wanted it, that it was right.

"'Cause we'll never be wrong together. We can take it to the end of the line. Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time..."

But it wasn't. It couldn't be. The proof was in the fighting, the unsolvable passive-aggressive spats that would be buried for months, only to surface in shattering explosions. These left deep, agonizing scars and stained the walls of her soul with so many salt tears and so much regret—all to be buried again, until the next time. The unending string of next times.

"I don't know what to do, and I'm always in the dark. We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks..."

The love was there, but it wasn't enough. She had to let go or be consumed by the fire—the gasoline running through her veins that would inevitably ignite. That would be her tipping point, where she could no longer hide the river that flowed from her eyes and from her very soul, yet was never enough to extinguish the blaze for more than a few days, weeks, or even months.

"I really need you tonight. Forever's gonna start tonight..."

One random day, with one small fire born of so many others, she knew deep within her soul that this was the last time. She was closing this chapter, walking away from it all. She was leaving the flames to scorch the earth in her wake.

"Forever's gonna start tonight..."

 

*A portion of the lyrics from Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" are used here as a creative element. This is a fan-made work and is not for commercial use or redistribution. The use of these lyrics is an homage to the song's powerful emotional resonance and its influence on this story.