The Lie That Didn’t Even Matter

I’ve been turning this over in my head for weeks now, and I still don’t fully understand it.

Why would someone — someone who once called you a close friend* — tell you a lie so pointless, so easily disproven, and with zero actual benefit?

Here’s what happened:

 

A while back, someone I used to be close with told me that their partner had abruptly left their job because the place was closing down. Just like that — doors shut, end of story. And apparently, this partner had also suddenly started working in a completely different field.

Now, let’s be clear: I don’t even like this person’s partner. I don’t care where they work, and I have zero need for either of the services involved. It was just a casual, passing comment at the time — and I mostly took it at face value.

 (there was also a bit casually tossed in about the boss dropping dead, and someone finding his body after a weekend, some generic gossip about his lifestyle habits, etc. but I don't personally know any of those people so I was basically like "oh, wow, that's so sad" and I moved on, as one does - I mean, *am* left wondering how the poor guy would feel to know his best friend's partner is telling folks he's dead but annnnyways....)

But recently, I saw someone online recommend that exact same business. The one that was supposedly shut down. So I checked — and yeah. It’s still open. Still operating. Nothing abrupt about it. Also the boss is very much alive.

Now I’m stuck with this question: Why lie? Why go out of your way to tell someone you claimed to care about a lie that serves absolutely no purpose?

It doesn’t affect me. I don’t need anything from them. But it’s not about logistics — it’s about the principle. What does it say about a person that they lie this casually, this senselessly? And how many other “little things” were untrue?

This wasn’t the first lie, either. They’ve lied before — and I knew then, too. The earlier lies were also kind of dumb, but at least they had some logic behind them. Usually something to save face or dodge responsibility. But this one? Nothing. Just... fiction for the sake of it.

And now I don’t speak to them. I don’t hate them. I just don’t want to be friends. But I still wonder: how can someone lie so comfortably, even when there’s nothing to be gained? Is it reflex? Is it habit? Is it about control?

I’ll probably never get an answer. But this random little incident — this bizarre, purposeless lie — reminded me why I stopped trying to hold space for people who treat truth like it’s optional.

Some people don’t lie to protect themselves. They lie because it’s simply what they do.

*related story..