In Memoriam...

It's now been two years (plus change) since the events of this post occurred. My wound hasn't healed or even begun to scab over, but I'm slowly learning to back-burner it, along with most of the deeper feelings that nobody really wants or needs to hear. There are far more important things happening in this life of mine—this thing, this episode, this... whatever it really is barely warrants a whimper, let alone the endless, piercing screams that emanate from within.

☑️ I am not a robot.

You know what’s exhausting?

Being accused of using AI every time you write something that has punctuation and isn’t riddled with spelling errors.

It’s gotten ridiculous. The moment someone uses an em dash, or—heaven forbid—remembers how to use a semicolon, the internet throws up its hands like, “Aha! Robot!” As if the only proof of humanity left is misspelling “definitely” and forgetting what a paragraph is.

Bête Noire

 Bête Noire

Take my pain —

take me,

take it away.

Addiction

 Addiction

Hey, hey mama, why don’t you look ’round the bend?

There’s a black-eyed man who says he’s your friend.

He’s dark as the night, with cool eyes that see,

He’ll fix up your life—whatever you decree.

He’s got the lip, yeah, he’s got the sight;

He’s already sold your soul to the night.

Just a Tale

 Just a Tale

Ride a tiger in the night,

Dance a slow song, fight the good fight.

Break a leg — the stage is set,

Never give up, and don’t ever forget.

Heart Songs: "Mocha Drenched Fantasies"

Sipping her coffee and absently gazing out the window, she could hear the hum of life around her—the buzz of these wonderful, unique beings who were completely oblivious to her and her inner awakening.

Thoughts at the End of Everything

I wrote this back in 2011, just a few days before my first major surgery. I was very sick at the time; Crohn's disease had ruined my guts to the point where my body had all but stopped accepting food. At 96 lbs (I'm 5'7", so you can imagine how serious it was), my body had started to "eat" itself, consuming the fat that's supposed to protect your bones and organs. My surgeon was considering putting off a conference because she wasn't sure I'd make it until she got back. Keep in mind that I was a lot younger, a lot more naive, and it was a whole different world back then. If I were to write the same piece again today, a few things would definitely be different.